Fate was never a friend to me. When I was young (barely five years old), my mom and dad got in a car crash and died on the spot. They left a lot of money for me, which caused my greedy relatives to fight over who would be my guardian. Everyone was friendly until my parents’ lawyer revealed that I could not get my inheritance until I reached 18 years old.
Since I was more than a decade away from that age back then, my relatives’ kindness began to wane. They passed me like a ball from one house to another. No one wanted to look after me anymore; they saw me as a burden.
Because of that, I learned to take care of myself. I knew better than to finish my food in one sitting at six years old because I did not know when I would get my next meal. At seven years old, I learned how to wash my clothes because my aunts or uncles allowed me to go to school looking like a homeless kid.
Going Into Foster Care
I thought that I was the luckiest child in the world when social services took me away from my relatives when I was nine years old. The social worker who talked to me told me that I would soon have a home and a new family. However, what might have forgotten to let me know – possibly on purpose to avoid hurting my feelings – was that foster parents gravitated towards infants or younger children.
I remained like an unwanted person for many years in the foster care system. Many kids who went to the facility started to mock me and say that I would never leave until I was 18 years old. I never defended myself since I also knew that they were correct.
Becoming An Adult
Once I turned 18, my life changed entirely. The system released me; my parents’ lawyer said that I could finally get my inheritance.
I used that money to enroll at a university and buy a condo near the campus. Due to my childhood experiences, I dreamed of becoming a child psychologist and counselor someday. I wanted to help other kids like me who suffered due to awful circumstances.
When I finally earned my degrees and licenses, I met Josh, a cardiologist. I happened to have a client with a cardiovascular condition, and he happened to be his doctor. It pushed me to strike conservation with Josh about the client’s medical history. And since he was nice, we continued to talk even after the client’s program ended.
It did not take long after Josh and I started dating officially to find out I was pregnant. I felt a bit scared because it was not part of our plan yet, but Josh was over the moon when he realized he was about to become a father. He asked for my hand right there and then, and we got married in Vegas on the same day.
I genuinely believed that Josh was the forever type of guy – someone who would want to spend the rest of his life with me. He was extra loving during my pregnancy and even afterward. However, after a few years of marriage, his treatment of me became watered down.
Why? I wondered about the same thing until I surprised him in the hospital for our tenth anniversary. When I opened his office, though, I saw him kissing a young nurse. The only thing that crossed my mind was, “I’m glad that I didn’t bring our daughter with me.”
Josh confessed to his cheating habits when I confronted him calmly. He said no when I recommended divorce, but I told him that I did not deserve to stay in a relationship with a cheater. I did not show him how much our breakup hurt me the entire time, but I often cried myself to sleep.
Did I Take A Break From Work Despite Everything?
No, I did not. I did not do that to keep my mind occupied – that would be unfair to my clients. I did not take a break from work because I knew early how to separate my work from my personal life.
Let me clarify that I am far from being a martyr or a saint. Was I ever sad and lonely in between clients? Of course. Did I find myself crying about what’s in store for my daughter and me sometimes? 100%.
Despite whatever happened to me, I understood that my clients could be going through worse situations than I ever would. It would be unfair to them if I merely took off when they needed my help the most. I could get my healing started after work or over the weekends anyways.